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February 25, 2005 at 12:00 AM
TV Shows > Star Trek: Voyager > Lover's Bond >
Lover's Bond Author: Hermione Granger
U should use that there darn ole SpeLl checker thingamajig when YU RITE this ain't smut it's just crap. fix it
summary
Tom and Tay return from there honeymoon. Spelling should be their
Chapter One
line5
She never told Chakotay how much she felt for him and now it was too late, he was married to one of the finest pilots StarFleet has ever had Tom Paris.
i can't tell what's up here IS TOM PARIS A WOMAN? you need to rewrite this a little. I am a ST fan so i tend to expect things a certain way. you said this would have M/M EEEEK!!! i'm straght
So ok but is Tom A mother? this is real science fiction!!!!!!!
line 11
She wondered how many kids him (HE) and his new wife had.
I know i sound like a dick correcting your story but it needs to be done. if they are gay where did the kids come from.
She remembered the letter she got form him should be from
She tired to steady herself tried
paragraph 3 spelling Acholic rum alcoholic
paragraph 4
Captain, we're at the randevous point spelling rendezvous
A joyous couple exited the flyer with a smile on their face.
should be since this is a couple; with smiles on their faces.
Hermione I picked this story because i liked your Name(Hermione Granger). However if you respect your readers you must read and reread your stories. i don't like to be critical but there is just so much gramaticly wrong with this fic that it is no fun to read it.
then there comes the content even if tom and tay went gay and i don't see it since this ain't bend over prison ship enterprize and i thought tom was engaged to belana. but janeway would never ever cry over a man leaving her never. come on show your readers some respect this is a really bad joke.
but if you were serious next time have a friend who reads a lot read and discuss it with you . and when you are writng about drinking don't be drunk yourself or at least don't post when your drunk. finish the job off. this ain't smut it's just crap.
drttoldman@yahoo.com
Lover's Bond Author: Hermione Granger
U should use that there darn ole SpeLl checker thingamajig when YU RITE this ain't smut it's just crap. fix it
summary
Tom and Tay return from there honeymoon. Spelling should be their
Chapter One
line5
She never told Chakotay how much she felt for him and now it was too late, he was married to one of the finest pilots StarFleet has ever had Tom Paris.
i can't tell what's up here IS TOM PARIS A WOMAN? you need to rewrite this a little. I am a ST fan so i tend to expect things a certain way. you said this would have M/M EEEEK!!! i'm straght
So ok but is Tom A mother? this is real science fiction!!!!!!!
line 11
She wondered how many kids him (HE) and his new wife had.
I know i sound like a dick correcting your story but it needs to be done. if they are gay where did the kids come from.
She remembered the letter she got form him should be from
She tired to steady herself tried
paragraph 3 spelling Acholic rum alcoholic
paragraph 4
Captain, we're at the randevous point spelling rendezvous
A joyous couple exited the flyer with a smile on their face.
should be since this is a couple; with smiles on their faces.
Hermione I picked this story because i liked your Name(Hermione Granger). However if you respect your readers you must read and reread your stories. i don't like to be critical but there is just so much gramaticly wrong with this fic that it is no fun to read it.
then there comes the content even if tom and tay went gay and i don't see it since this ain't bend over prison ship enterprize and i thought tom was engaged to belana. but janeway would never ever cry over a man leaving her never. come on show your readers some respect this is a really bad joke.
but if you were serious next time have a friend who reads a lot read and discuss it with you . and when you are writng about drinking don't be drunk yourself or at least don't post when your drunk. finish the job off. this ain't smut it's just crap.
drttoldman@yahoo.com
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March 5, 2004 at 12:00 AM
you derty littell modblood. why didnt you tell me you posted the idea you got off of my i i thouth it was going to be a latter chaper in owr story. ohh your going to pay for this....!!!
~~one pissed off monkey!
~~one pissed off monkey!